Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Defeat

I'm done. I give up. No more potty training. I think we are going to take a break. We are at the point where I put him in underwear and sit him on the toilet every 1 1/2 hrs. Sometimes he argues, sometimes not. More than half the time he goes when I put him on. He earns a sticker for his chart. A certain amount of stickers = a toy. You get the picture. And yes, the prizes are cool and he gets to pick them out.

The problem is he uses his underwear the exact same way he uses his diaper. He'll just pee in it. He doesn't care if he is wet or not. He likes getting stickers/prizes, but if he could choose he would choose peeing his pants over a toy. (FYI It's been about a month of this.)

It seems like the general mommy population is of two minds about it.
     1) Don't back track or give up. Keep with it and you'll get there eventually.
     2) Don't push it. He will do it when he is ready. No point in forcing the issue until he is ready.

What do you all think? What should I do? The kid is 3 1/2 years old for heaven sake.

9 comments:

Laura Horne said...

I am so sorry! That is so hard. Amos was the same way. It took Maggie doing it to get him to come around. So, just wait until you have another kid to potty train first ;) there's nothing like peer pressure.

Ps lots of people would say to me, "he's three and he's not potty trained???" like it was unheard of. I promise, it's not.

Go with your gut. Or pray about it, even if it's just for patience. I sure did.

Lauren said...

I'd wait a bit and start again. While potty training isn't ever a glorious vacation, there is something to be said about it "clicking" for them. It doesn't sound like he's being defiant, he just doesn't get it. Also, try a more instant gratification. Instead of earning up for a reward, give him a smaller reward every time. I've heard the sticker chart works for a lot of kids. It didn't mine. I did marshmallows and I set the jar in the bathroom so they saw it every time they went in there.
Good luck!!!

Becky, Ryan, Oliver, Amelie, and Nora said...

Lee, I totally think you should just wait. I really think he will get to the point where it will click and it will be a lot less work for you and stress for everyone. One of the key things of potty training (I've heard) is to stay positive and not get frusterated at them. I just don't see how it's possible to stay positive when they're not ready and cannot be taught. Your just banging your head against the wall. I totally get it. With Ollie I finally gave up at one point and didn't even mention it. Within a few months he made the call and was so much easier to train. I think there are just some kids that don't get it until 4 or older. It sounds like your doing everything but nothing will work till he gets it. Potty training sucks, I feel ya.

Heninger family said...

My two bits: take a break--if you're just training yourself, not him, that's not worth your time:) We had one who wouldn't until well into the 4's, one in the 2s, the rest sometime during the 3s... but we had to step back and take a break with most, because they were interested and able, but not truly ready. For some of mine, it turned into a control thing, so it had to be their idea. Or maybe Daniel can motivate him this summer:)

Lindsay Griffeth said...

I've only done it once . . . so I'm no expert . . . but I say WAIT, too! I am pretty sure I got so lucky with Nate because HE was ready and he really only had a few accidents. I can't imagine having to put him on the potty that often - he'll catch on when he wants to!

And I like Lauren's advice - something more instant. I'm going to remember that for Ryan!

Good luck!

Katie said...

Each child is so different. The method I used for Preston did not work for Natalie. I have a 3 day potty training method on pdf that I could email you if you're interested. That is what worked for Natalie at 3 1/2 yrs old (3rd attempt at training). She sounds very similar to Carson. I would have toys for her if she went and she really could care less. The other method I used for Preston is a book called "Toilet Trained in less than a day" by Azrin and Foxx. Hope you find something that works. Try to not go out of your mind over this. I have always said that I think potty training is the hardest part of parenting. Good luck!

Aleena said...

I fought with Jonah for a year till he was almost four before he finally decided to be potty trained. So Micah is 3 and I have not started potty training yet. I was considering trying soon, but if it's a constant struggle I will wait, so yes, I agree with most of the other friends who have commented. Just wait a while and try again later.

annieq84 said...

I know I have no room to talk since you've been at this a lot longer but I wonder why it is that boys get so absorbed in what their doing that they can't remember to go to the bathroom. If Gage is naked we do pretty well. Clothes on, well, it gets less great. Maybe that means Carson and Gage will be very focused, smart kids? Who knows. I've always admired how wonderful your parenting style is so whatever you decided is the totally right option for you!

Laurel said...

Seeing as Justin just turned 2, we haven't really turned this corner yet. But, I agree with everyone else that waiting would probably be better for everyone involved. Sorry it's been so frustrating.